a glimmer into the life of a mum who loves fashion, decor and prosecco

"Mummy Circle" Monday's

One of the many reasons I wanted to start this blog was to share the highs & lows of motherhood, hear other  mummies experiences & helpful tips and offer mummy support.  I sometimes feel that as a society we are missing this and that woman are each others worst enemies when we should be nurturing, helping and loving each other! We are ALL in the same race, same journey, we all have the up's and downs, and we all want to feel accepted, loved, supported, vulnerable and told that we are doing a "good job."

via Google images

Motherhood, for me, was not a "blissful" and "immediate" as everyone had told me it would be.  I thought that the connection and the overwhelming love would be immediate, primal, and instinctive . . . imagine my guilt and despair when that didn't happen!?  I have sworn since that bumpy beginning to always be honest with new mothers, my friends and family and now all of you about how hard and scary becoming a mummy can be.  The guilt of not feeling the instinctual connection and immediate overwhelming love, everyone told me I would have, left me feeling alone and in the dark for the first few months after Emerson arrived.  

I wanted to dedicate a day on my blog to "mummy's" where I talk about the up's and down's, the honest realities, and the mind games mothering can play on your self confidence, gut feelings and patience!  I feel that sometimes other mum's hide their truths and their frustrations to make it look all "peaches & creams" but I am here to say "Stop! Be honest with yourself and other mum's; share your frustrations, your secrets and your worries with other mum's; let's be loving and supportive of each other, not judgmental and critical."  And please don't get me wrong - there are 1000's of moments in my day where I am on cloud 9 and love every second of being a mummy, but I just want to recognize that it is a hard, but an amazing job we are blessed with.

via Google images

To kick off my Mummy Circle Monday's I have interviewed a few of my friends who are AMAZING women, mothers, wifes and human beings about some of their survival techniques for staying sane, loving and "hell-a-funny", while navigating the journey of motherhood.

My first interview is with one of the first friends I met when I moved here from Scotland, Vivian.  We met in Junior High School, were on dance team together and have somehow seen our lives run in parallel even though we have been miles apart since High School.  She is one of the most intelligent women I know, one of the bravest (she was a beach life-guard for years - you cant get me to swim in the ocean; hello "Jaws!"), is now a Physicians Assistant in the ER (talk about crazy stress) and is a complete "hottie" to boot!  She married a cute Firefighter and they live in San Diego with their 2 daughters, Keira (2) and Avery (2mths) - Keira and Emerson are a week apart!! Vivian has been my absolute SAVIOR in these past 2yrs - we text each other between 5-10 times a day; anything from cute pic's and things the girls have done, to how insanely tired we are and how chaotic our day has been, amongst other "funny" things.  So without further ado, here is my little interview with Vivian.

1.     You are a mummy?  Explain yourself (how many kids & ages)

2 girls; one is 2yrs old and the other is 2 months old

2.      Do you have any advice for surviving the first 3mths with a newborn? (Tricks of the trade, must have gear or gadgets?)

Get a good baby carrier that you are comfortable with so you can have your hands free. This is especially helpful with 2 kids.  Also get some sort of vibrating chair or swing. If your newborn won’t fall asleep on their own, this will do the trick.  Just remember that it will get a little bit easier after 2 months (as far as sleep goes anyways).  Multitasking is a must, but try not to do too much at one time.  Always try and sleep when they do.  You won’t be able to do it again when you have two kids.

3.      What do you do in your day for yourself and how do you carve that time out? (nap, bath, makeup, read, amazing skincare products)

I try and get some sort of exercise in since it is something I can do with the kids.  Usually I will try and go for a jog or a couple of walks and take them with me.  If the store or park is within walking distance even better. Sometimes while the TV is on, I try and sneak in some push ups and sit ups.  Helps with my sanity and energy levels.  To make a little time for myself, I try and get my errands/chores done when the kids are awake. That way when naptime rolls around, I have a little time for myself. For example, if  I need to do anything in the yard, I will put the youngest in a bouncer for some fresh air (out of the sun of course), and give the oldest a shovel and bucket so she can help. When I need to fold laundry, I let her play in the basket while I put things away. They love to try and imitate you so its fun for them and you get something done.  As far as makeup and skincare products, I keep it to a minimum.  Make up, if any, consists of mascara and powder. I like Bare Escentuals because it gives good coverage without a caked on look.  I always always use sunscreen if I’m going out.  I will either use a children’s sunblock with a high spf or I use this stuff called Hissy Fit. It’s got foundation mixed in and has an spf of 50.  It gives a clean look and doesn’t cause my skin to break out.  For nighttime I use Nia 24 because my skin is prone to melasma. I love the stuff even though it’s kind of pricey.  When I will be able to again, I also like to get a prescription for Retin A and mix a little into my night cream. Really one of the few things out there that will help with fine lines.

4.     Tips on melt-downs and tantrums?

Yelling never works.  Just let them do it and don’t give in. Just take a deep breath, count to 5 and remember it will be over soon.

5.      Sleeping tips? (in your bed, in crib, transition from your bed to crib or from crib to toddler)

For the first couple of months it’s all about survival.  Right now we have our infant in our room, and every now and then I will put her in bed with me if she won’t fall asleep in the night.  We just moved the older one to  a twin sized bed.  We had it around for a couple of months in a different room so she got familiar with it.  We also got a book and let her help set it up.  She was so excited to go to her big girl bed and that made the transition easier.  If they get out of the bed when they’re not supposed to, put them back and let them know you will come get them when they wake up.

6.     To pacifier or not . . . and tips for breaking this?

I don’t know why people don’t.  It’s in their nature to suck on the things and if they don’t suck on the pacifier, they’ll find something else.  It’s soothing for them.  I’ve also read that it may help prevent SIDS in the first 6 months of their lives.  Tips for breaking? I have none since my daughter lost interest in it at about 6 months and discovered her thumb instead.  Haven’t attempted to break this habit yet!

7.      What mantra’s/rituals keep you sane in the chaos?

None, I’m about ready to check into a mental asylum!  Just kidding. I just try and remember those little moments when my kids make me laugh.  I also try and think of all those people out there that can’t have kids and feel lucky to have this chaos in my life.  I was one who didn’t want to have kids in the first place, and if I had to do it all over again, I would have them in a heartbeat.

8.      What is one thing you sacrificed (besides your sleep, your freedom, and your whole life J/K) after having children? (skipping the makeup,  making meals from scratch, fashion)

Getting in the water (ocean).  It’s so hard to do because conditions always depend on mother nature, and I can’t take the girls in with me.  It always seems the waves are good when my husband is at work and they are crap when he is home and I have the chance to go.  This of course to all the obvious…sleep, food and grooming.

9.      Do you have any crafty tips/ideas that you used to get your baby/kid to eat something they didn’t like?

None at all.  It’s a losing battle for me.  The only thing I do is I make my daughter take at least one bite of everything that is on her plate.  It may take an entire hour to do it but she knows she has to.  She’s too smart for me, and I can’t trick her into eating anything.  She will still analyze what she’s eating even if I make it a fun shape or game.

10.  What are your secrets to keeping up your energy levels (magic wand, secret potion, crazy vitamins, shakes)

Getting outside and caffeine!

11.  How do you stay fabulous?
For now, I am in no way shape or form, fabulous…maybe in a couple of months.
By the way I just saw Vivian last week and the above is NOT TRUE! She looks absolutely awesome and is as funny as ever, love you! Thank you for sharing your valuable insight into mummyhood . . . .xoxo E

1 comment

  1. Love this interview and everything you say about motherhood. Yes, I think if everyone is honest about what its really like - the unbelievable relentless 24-hour-ness with spots of magic - we would be a lot happier. I did find when I had my first baby there is a certain mother who makes loads of undermining comments and I learned to form a group of friends who were sweet and funny and unjudgemental. (And who loved to go out!)When kids were small we all did things differently when it comes to sleep and routine but we all just tried to listen to each other ....and we are still great friends. Again - great post!


Thank you for your comments, I truly appreciate it! Have a fabulous day. xoxo E

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