a glimmer into the life of a mum who loves fashion, decor and prosecco

a snapshot

For your Sunday morning coffee read I give you a "20 minute snapshot" of our Saturday night . . . prepare yourself, it's sexy!

To set the scene, Mr. Hotpants was in the shower, I was in the kitchen feeding Ms. Harper and Emerson was dancing around singing "Jingle Bells," then the 20 minutes began . . . (insert "Jaws" theme music here)

Emerson leaves the kitchen to go talk to daddy in the shower, 3 minutes later Emerson comes flying into the kitchen with no diaper on and poop smushed all over her little bumbum, she was saying "mama help me, my bumbum hurts" and I hear Mr.Hotpants yelling "Emerson come back here; jump in the shower with daddy and wash your bumbum." Harper is laughing hysterically in her high chair at all of this.  I get some wipes and clean Emerson up, she calms down and goes into the living room.

I finish feeding Ms. Harper, take her out of her highchair and let her crawl around. I clean up the kitchen and then head out to the living room only to smell, you guessed it, poop again.  Ms. H had pooped this time so off with the diaper, wipe her little tushy and then I leave her bumbum to air dry for a second while I go and get a diaper and cream.  I come back out to smell something awful . . . more poop! I check Emerson, nothing there, check myself, nope not that either, then as I walk into the kitchen I catch Lucy (our dog) following Ms. Harper and sniffing her bumbum! Ms. Harper had pooped again and it was everywhere, it was all over the hardwood, her feet, her PJ's, her legs . . . little bits were stuck to her toy she was holding . . . . and our dog! Our dog was sniffing her like she was another doggy! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Strip off the clothes and stick her straight in the kitchen sink, I rinse her bumbum, then sit her in a little bath of water.  As I am soaping up Ms. Harper and cleaning her off, Emerson comes tearing into the kitchen, screaming "I pee pee'd on my little potty! YEAH YEAH YEAH" . . . . This is GREAT news, as we are potty training right now! High-fives and yipee's followed.   Emerson gets a "congratulatory squeezy yogurt" and heads back into the living room.  I finish washing up little Ms. H, dry her off, put on a diaper and PJ's and set her down to crawl around while I clean up the kitchen sink. 

Finally I think, I'm done for the night only I'm not!!!!  I walk into the living room and there she is . . . . little Ms. Harper has her hands in Emerson's little blue potty and is splashing around in . . . . Emerson's pee (we put the potty in whatever room Emerson is in so as she can go right when she needs to while we are potty training) . . . . . ARE YOU FRICKIN kidding me!  Could this Saturday night get any grosser????  And this all did really happen in like 20 minutes!!!

I kept thinking to myself, "Seriously . .  . no really, seriously, this isn't my life is it?"

So . . . . . I hope you all had as sexy a Saturday night as we did over here, and I hope this gave you a good Sunday morning laugh!  Things could be worse, right?!

1 comment

  1. Oh Emma you will one day come to understand that little sisters and brothers NEED to play with everything their olders do. Our house requires the bathroom door to be shut because Lily MUST play in the potty after Noah goes. Its magnetic, I swear. I will sign off by saying it is what it is - my sexy Saturday night consisted of snuggling with Lily in my bed and passing out at 845 pm as I could not stay awake anymore. Remember the days when we didnt start getting ready to go out on Saturday until 845? WOW! I feel ya though.

    PS - never let the toushy air dry - NEVER!

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