a glimmer into the life of a mum who loves fashion, decor and prosecco

Numb

(The previous post (below) was scheduled to post today before Fridays nightmare was known)

this is the only word I can use to explain what I feel.  This weekend was full of holiday events and activities but I feel as though I went through all of it in a fog, an unbelievable, mind-numbing, heart-torn fog.  



I can't understand these things, I cant live with them . . . are we supposed to? Are we supposed to just go on knowing that our world can come to crumbling, disgusting end anytime?  Are we supposed to trust those who are here to protect us and our children? Who are supposed to put rules and laws into place to ensure our safety? I can't, I can't trust that my girls will be safe in this world, I can't trust that I can go to a shopping mall and come home, I can't trust this world anymore and that is the scariest feeling I have ever had.  I flip-flop from nauseating sadness to violent anger and fear!

I cried all day Friday, I almost threw-up twice, when I got home from work and held my girls I sobbed, I couldn't read, listen, or watch anything more about it, I couldn't look at the photos of all those darling, smiling, innocent, beautiful faces, I couldn't fathom the pain and suffering that those parents and families were dealing with . . .  I don't know how to deal with this . . . my heart and mind are just screaming "NO, NO, NO"

This country needs to prioritize!  There are so many things that are wrong that all come in to play with this tragedy.   We can start with the fact that NO ONE should be CARRYING A GUN unless they are police or military! There is no fucking reason.   The second issue is the way we treat mental health . . . it's simple - we DON'T, we ignore it; sweep it under the rug like an embarrassing family member.  It is real people and our healthcare system needs ENSURE that ALL of our citizens are taken care of physically and mentally, otherwise we will never be able to relax and feel protected because there will be others wandering around who need help and arent getting it. 

I am at a loss, I am broken, I am sad, I am terrified, I am numb . . . . I pray for all those families, I pray for all those children, all those teachers, first responders, police . . . I pray for humanity because it needs it.

1 comment

  1. Utterly utterly senseless killing. The fact he had three guns and one of them was an automatic rifle beggars belief. The fact that people are still protesting tightening up gun laws beggars belief. Except for a few glances at newspapers today I cannot read anymore it just so horrifying. Your statue picture says it all.

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