a glimmer into the life of a mum who loves fashion, decor and prosecco

Not raising PERFECTION

Parenting is HARD.  It is a day-to-day, trial-and-error type of thing.  It comes with a lot of angst, guilt, fear, and vulnerability, but also with an immense and profound love, pride, fun, and happiness.


I used to be a perfectionist but after having my girls I had to let go of that a bit because let's me honest, there is NO way to have things perfect or be perfect when you have two little uncontrollable people living in your home lol!  Life with kids is messy, unpredictable, disorganized and loud and it's my belief that it is supposed to be that way.
 


I believe we have to let our kids be kids! Let them be messy, let them be loud, let them be so creative with their imaginary games that the house looks like a tornado hit it!  Why?  Because the joy, the wonderment, the sense of discovery and self is SO much more valuable to my girls than the 15 minutes it will take for me to clean up the messes and put the house back together.
 
With all that said I have to admit it is still not easy for me sometimes to sit around while the chaos is going on BUT I do my best to tell myself to relax.  A true test came this week when Emerson had to build a cardboard box car, only she chose to build a cardboard box canoe!  

We had some fab friends help with the canoe last weekend (well the daddies did it while the mummies sipped bellini's; as it should be!)


All that was left for Emerson to do was decorate/paint it.  I had great visions of it being this beautiful canoe with lacing detail and leather details (think Pocahontas) with her name and maybe a cool thing painted on the bow of the canoe.  But here is what went down . . . 

ME: So I thought we could maybe spray paint the whole thing a nice gold/bronze color then paint all the canoe details on top of it?

EMERSON: But mum I want to paint it with feathers

ME: Oh, okay that would be cool too.  I can draw all the feathers with a sharpee and you can paint them in all different colors then we can make the bow the head of the bird with a beak and all!!! It will look awesome (I was thinking eagle or peacock!)

EMERSON: Mum!!!! (stomping her foot) I'm an artist!!! I am painting this; its my creation!

ME:  . . . alrighty then . . . 

So I poured her paints for her to use and set her up to start.  I watched her start and I had to actually walk around the corner to the kitchen so that I would not interject with her "vision" and her painting.  She was having a ball painting "her" feathers and was so proud of the colors she was using - she made one a peacock feather.  

I was having a hard time with this because I had seen all the PERFECT box cars on Pinterest and wanted so badly to just take over and make it one bad-a*s canoe!!! But I couldn't  . . . and here is why.


Here is what I believe I would be teaching my Emerson if I had given in to my "perfectionist" ways.
 1. Your painting is not good enough 
2. Your painting is not perfect
3. Your idea is not good enough
4. Your creativity is silly

And this would all equate to one single thing to Emerson 
"You have to be PERFECT, anything less is not good enough"

And how extremely awful of a lesson is that . . . 

Here is why I let her do her thing (knowing that there would be 20 other picture-perfect cars on the playground) . . . I wanted the lesson to read like this

1. You have great creative ideas
2. You are the artist and you paint great
3. You should have fun in everything you do
4. Follow your gut instinct
5. Follow your dreams and your vision

And I hope this is what she learned from this:
"You are perfect just the way you are.  I love you just the way you are; exactly as you are"


because I do!

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Thank you for your comments, I truly appreciate it! Have a fabulous day. xoxo E

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